Jul 25, 2012

My migits have the best hearing

So, we are working on not opening a closed bathroom door to show a broken toy to a parental unit who is pretending to go potty, but in reality, snuck in there, pulled down their pants (for effect) and is sitting on the throne just to finish a round of Scramble with Friends.  However, while we might be conquering that nasty habit, they have picked up a new nasty habit.  The moment a closed door opens, they are standing right there.  Or, run in the second after, therefore, creating a very stressful exit for the adult.

The migits can be playing, loudly, with music in the background, with the dog barking, and the moment I open a Magnum Ice Cream bar, before noon, they come running.  I hide it in the freezer, in the newly opened package, as they came before I could even hide that evidence, and she asks, "What are you eating?"  Uhmmmm... carrots?  They never buy that story.

I see they are playing nicely on the stairs with friends at the pool, and I decided to relax.  It's the shift in the mood at the pool I suppose, as the moment I decide to float on my back, it's a barrage of "Watch this Mommy!  Did you see that? What this!!!  Was that good?"  Well, first, "Watch this!" is not very original.  I am a stay at freakin' home mom.  I WATCH EVERYTHING!  THINGS I'D RATHER NOT WATCH, I STILL WATCH!  Spoiler alert migits- I watch you even when you don't ask me to watch you.  Like when you are sleeping.  OR cuddling together as you read library books together on my bed.  Or when you are building with blocks, quietly.  (I think the quiet part is what gets my attention most.)  I watch you when you eat.  I watch you when you are sitting at your desk coloring.  I watch you when you are brushing your dolls hair, or setting up a tea party.  I watch  you play games, play ball, jump rope, ride a bike, try to brush your hair, learn to fold laundry, dust bust after a meal, brush your teeth, swish and spit, make your bed, arrange your stuffed animals for the night, and often, I watch you when you ask me to.

I seem to never take my eyes off of you.  And when I go outside to bring the garbage can off the street, you follow me.  Did  you ever hear me say, "Watch me do this!"  Nope.  Or when I get on the phone, you come from another part of the house to listen.  At some point, did you hear me say, "Hey, watch me have an adult conversation and then, please correct me while I am telling a story?"  Not once.

Unfortunately, I have seen that there are occasions that the ears seem to be malfunctioning.  Like, when you missed the directions for when to clean up (toys), finish up(a meal), bring up(the clothes), etc.  So from now on, I will assume that if I want you to clean up your toys, I will rip open an indulgent ice cream novelty, await your arrival, then give you my requests.  Or, if that doesn't work, I can just fake a bowel movement.  Those seem to get your attention quicker.

*That last paragraph reminded me of the comedy bit by John Pinette, called "I'm Starving!"  Look it up on Netflix.  I promise you, you will know when he starts talking about "sit up, stand up, etc."  My favorite, is Howie Mandel, but John comes in a VERY close second.  Check it out.  You will like.

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