Jul 31, 2012

Bugs and Networking

Where are they coming from?  I swear I think they come out of thin air.  So, we have these tiny little black gnat like things that are all over our house.  (Like one or two in the kitchen and one or two upstairs.)  Our house is small, so that pretty much covers the term, "all over the house."  I asked a friend of mine if she has them.  She said no.  She said she had them a few years ago and contributed bananas as the culprit.  Well, I don't see how that is possible.  I bought bananas, not bugs, and we have bananas year round, and this is a first for us.  And I still don't see how bananas can be blamed for these little suckers.  So I'll humor the theory, and say that yes, the gnats, or fruit flies, came from the banana.  Did it actually come from inside a banana, or, say, outside of the banana?  If inside, then I think I am done eating bananas.  If outside, wouldn't I have seen them in the store, or might they have just left along the way from being thrown bag less into the cart and then into a bag by some teenager who thinks that bananas and tampons are an appropriate bagging partnering choice?  Where ever they came from, I would like to send them back.  And let's continue saying they are from the 'naners.... why wouldn't they stay with them?  Why, all of a sudden, do they think the rest of the house, where there is NEVER food, is a good place to hang out?  (We, including the faux adults in the house, never bring food out of the kitchen/dining area.)

I say faux, as in fake, pretend.  I honestly don't think you can call either Geoff or I adults, as both of us still appreciate junk food as much as our children, stay up too late and fight getting up in the mornings, and love cartoon movies.  Seriously, he is going to be 40 and I will be 36, soon, but neither of us are admitting to maturity- yet.  I might be the only 50 year old person you meet that appreciates Dr.  Seuss and the ability to eat as much junk food as I can until I get sick.   Surely not a sign of maturity, right?

Anyway, so we have these little tiny bugs and I clean more than Hazel, so what's the deal???

Also, a friend mentioned that she noticed I plugged a mutual friend in need of an ultrasound job.  Yes, I am still plugging him, as he is still searching for a full time ultrasound job, however, she is a certified mammography person.  She is licensed to touch boobies, and that alone makes me want to giggle.  Every time I think of a male OB-GYN, I think to myself, "This man is genius."  He must have been asked at some point, what he would like to do with his life.  What his passions are.  And this Honest Abe says must have mentioned his appreciate vagina's and breast, and that he would like to make a career out of his passion.  Hence, a male OB-GYN.  As for Melanie, no, she probably is not a fan, per se, of breasts, but she has some, and that alone makes her pretty knowledgeable.  Then, she has been working as an x-ray tech for years, (not saying she is old, but she's been around the block a few times) so she went on to mammography since it is just an extension of her x-ray experience and schooling, I'm sure.  So, if you know of anyone in need of a woman to squish boobies, I got the chick for you.  And if you know of anyone with a full time ultrasound job, Brett would love the opportunity to fill the position.  If not, I hear that he can also serve as a Shabbos Goy, and he will take payments on Sunday, his personal Shabbos.  How mighty goyish of him.  And I think Melanie might squish boobies on Sunday, but I'd have to ask her.  I don't know, as we don't talk much about her boobie squishing.  In fact, we talk so little about it, that I didn't even know that she was licensed to do it!  (I'm really not a good friend or ex-coworker, huh?)

And while we are at it, I have a husband who has not had a job interview in about four years, but every few months realizes that we need to make more money, and by we, I mean, HE has to make more money.  We are a family of four, and I am a stay at home mom, as paying for childcare to care for my children, one of which attends speech and soon will be attending occupational therapy again, would cost most than me working would pay for.  And our migits are on a weird-o school schedule, wherein they are out of school about 16 weeks each year!  (That is hard to ask off for from any job.)  So, while he makes about $13 per hour at a bank job, it's not enough, and as frugal as I am, I can only say this for him, he is LOYAL!  He has yet to get another job, or be fired from the current one, so he must be doing something right.  So, here are his credentials-- graduated from a private catholic university, and can do most anything that doesn't involve a phone, as he is hearing impaired, and even with hearing aids, the phone is a challenge.  He refuses to travel overnights, as family is a priority, and weekends are off limits as well.  However, for the time he is at work, he works.  He doesn't mess around on a computer, text, or anything else that would take him away from his responsibilities.  So, if you know of a company willing to give him a chance to fully support his family, please share that with us.  Thanks!

I am considering potential work from home options.  First, phone sex.  Then I realized, I don't like talking on the phone.  Nixed that idea.  Then, I thought, what about strip-o-grams?  First, I don't think I can strip.  It's really hard to bend over to take my socks off, so I doubt I can make that look sexy enough.  Second, it's probably a sin of some sort, and I really don't need anything else to talk about in confession.  The priest usually cuts me off as it is.  (Either I need to go more often, or not ever leave my house.  Or speak.  Or think.)  Then I thought about at home child care.  I love naps!  But if the kid doesn't nap, I'm screwed.  Or if they need a diaper change, they are screwed.  And if the diaper change is the deal breaker for taking a nap, I'm afraid that might cause me some angst.  I don't need any more of that in my life.  Never mind on the childcare bit.  Cleaning.  Hmmm.. I love a clean house.  I don't love cleaning as much as you peeps think.  I only do it so that I can sleep at night.  I suppose I don't really have any skills that might contribute to our family income.  I used to get temp work through an agency that had me stuffing and sealing envelopes.  With the advent of Internet, those jobs are gone too.   If only I could get paid to do something with this blog.  Suppose I will have to find some editor and some funny to do that.  Will be easier to to take my socks off than to find funny some days.  I'm not closing any doors just yet ;o)

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