I showered 5 times today. Naturally, my obsessive compulsive disorder is acting up again, or some one poo'ed on me today, and that would account for one of the five showers. So here's the deal- Woke up, showered. (Don't we all?) Then, went to work in the garden and bathe my Lassie type dog. Had to shower from the sweat, dog shampoo, wet hot mess I was after that event. Headed to the library, and then the YMCA pool. Showered before we left the pool. Worked outside after dinner on brushing more collie fur out. Yet, another shower, and we joked about it at that point. Then, I am rough housing with my migits after stories, and while Chaz is in my arms, he poos on me. So, here's the background on that. (And yes, that was shower number five for me, and you think that is ridiculous, next time you get poo'ed on, call me.)
Chaz was diagnosed with Autism when he was two year, three months old. We couldn't get it done any sooner, as three pediatricians thought I was nuts, and finally, I chose to pay out of pocket to have him diagnosed. Yes, he was not just slightly, but he was diagnosed with I. Autism, II. Speech Delay, III. Sensory Integration Dysfunction, and I forget the fourth one. So, I began reading my tail off. I researched. I read books I didn't understand. I read books I did understand. I read books that were so outdated that I wondered if the authors of these books were still alive. I watched Youtube videos of Temple Grandin, I made it my mission to recover Chaz. And really, I knew I would. I knew he would be okay. (How did I know this? I.Have.No.Idea.) I just did. I fully accepted that G-d knew what he was doing, and would help me along the way.
Well, among other things, the leaky gut stuff was one of our first major hurdles we began recovery on. And before he turned four, we had our first solid stool. He was placed on a very strict diet that works because he is not allergic to anything, per se, but because the lining of his intestines was so diseased that it could not process certain things, namely, gluten and casein products. He also had an over growth of yeast and bacteria in his gut based on some independent testing I did on my own, out of pocket, with Great Plains Laboratories. (Amazing lab to work with.) Genova required a doctor to write for the testing and I was aided by a doctor I worked with at the time, from an urgent care center, who happened to know a little bit about biomedical therapies as I began my research on it. After I got the results, she reviewed them, and understanding our financial position, suggested a non DAN! doctor that was a regular board certified pediatrician, but specialized in autism treatment, and was only a little more than an hour away in Tyrone. GA. (I blog. That means, I have anxiety disorder, and driving that far was a stretch for me through Atlanta, but when it comes to recovering your kid, anxiety needs to chill out. To be fair, I assume that there might be one or two bloggers that will be offended by that comment, however, all the bloggers I read have mentioned they are just as screwy as I am and have some sort of issue or another.) The doc put him on VANCOMYCIN. I was scared. Then, after we finished that, six months of anti fungals. We alternated between Diflucan and Nystatin. It was insane. But one day, we had solid poo. We were visiting my parents cabin, and we showed everyone. In fact, for years since, we have been evaluating it. Even Shay knows what sort of adjectives to use. "Mom, it's a long snake, but it's solid!" This phrase can be overheard on any given day, so be ware. Often, someone looks at it.
One day recently, Shay must have felt left out. She told me her poo was green, and wanted me to see it. I swear, this is what I said. "Shay, so what if it's green? I can't change the color. Green is sorta' better than plain ole' brown. I think you should be excited to get a different color. If you're lucky, maybe a leprechaun will want to visit and leave you a treat! There's isn't much I can do for you, other than flush it, but then I'm not teaching you responsible bathroom habits, and if there's anything I want more, it's to have my offspring take care of that stuff, themselves." She was flabbergasted. So, in her head, I can see this bouncing off the walls--- "WTH? Charlie so much as hunches over into his "position" that makes them think he might need to poo, and they jump. He was putting his shoes on. False alarm clever adults. I shit out green poo, and there is no yelling about it from upstairs to downstairs to share the news? I didn't ask for a freakin' ticker tape parade, but the least you lazy people can do is come look and shake your head or something?!!??!!???" Poor Shayna. We will be having a separate collection for her at the end of Mass. (They used to say that when we used to go to one Catholic Church, a long time ago. It always made me laugh. Once, there were 4 collections, one of which, I kid you not, was for the pets of deceased priests. I didn't donate. Not because I didn't think it was a worthy cause, but because I was ticked thinking, "Couldn't one of their kids take the animals?" And then it dawned on me... ooops.. that was one I might have considered.. in retrospect.) I think I'm going to hell. Where am I, and why am I in this hand basket? (Shout out to Mel! Love you chick.)
So, tonight, after shower number 4, I am playing with the migits. Geoff and I both told Charlie to go potty, since we saw his sign. The hunch over. He left, and came back-- too quickly. But, we didn't take the timing into consideration, and resumed play. Well, while I have him in my arms, on the bed, he jumps out of my arms, and I see it. It is in his underwear already, and I freak out and jump in the shower and Geoff deals with him. We have been doing this for years. He is generally fully potty trained day time, but might not stop to urinate, because he can't stand to stop. However, night time, he is in a pull up. I can't remember the last poop accident, but like the saying says.... it happens.
And that is why, I showered five times today. If lotion didn't freak me out so much, I might consider moisturizing after all that. Oh well. If you don't know what I look like- I'm the scaly one. That occasionally bleeds in winter from all the showering and hand washing my OCD produces that time of year. It's attractive, I know. Hey, at least I don't have green poo.