Today was one of those self fulfilling days for me. I had originally planned to go to a local, free, outdoor concert in our county for tonights' Super Saturday fun, but found a mobile "soup" kitchen to serve with our family. So, we jumped at that opportunity. It was more fun than any of us expected. First, my expectation was that I would hurt seeing hunger. I am not one to see suffering, especially hunger. And children. Hungry children. Hungry children and the moms and dads that can't provide adequately. All that makes me angry and frustrated sometimes.
After Tai died, our 9 year old first child, my beloved Belgian, I found there were days that it hurt to breathe. I never thought that hurt would get any easier. In fact, after my girlfriend lost her Lexi, I went through it all over again, and the emotions flooded me when I saw her grieving. I am not one to suffer. Watching suffering is worse than me suffering myself. Honestly, I don't like it. Too raw for me.
I don't know why, but I can't stand to cry. Some people cry pretty. It's kind of like the some people run pretty. I don't run like Pam Anderson on Baywatch, nor do I cry like Demi Moore in Ghost. I think my nostrils flair, and I snot. I also don't look anything like the Zumba instructors doing the routine, but thankful I don't look like the old lady in the back of the room who dances like flash dance in a Zumba workout. Just not good. I have seen Shay take on that same take control of every emotion and how hard she fights crying. Geoff used to tell me to cry. It's okay he'd say. Well, no. Not if it gives you a headache, and you begin mass producing mucus like it's your job. Then, it's probably okay to come across like a jerk at a funeral. However, Free Willy was the worst mucus factories I have ever seen. I swear, I think my estrogen left after that movie. I think it felt overused and under appreciated, and therefore, it got up and left the party. I don't blame it. That was hardcore.
So, I was afraid to see suffering. And guess what... I pasted on a smile, and eventually, once the people started coming, I was truly filled with joy seeing that these families came to share their love with us, much more than we served them. From the clothes they received to the hot meal and kid environments that even my kids loved, this Forever Fed organization fed our need to see Him, and we can not wait for the next opportunity to serve. Think we might be going back next week if it fits with our company and their schedules.
That brings me to our company. Aunt Carol and Uncle Bill. They are my sperm donors' sister and brother in law. I can not begin to tell you the fun these two bring to our lives. They have not been able to come in two summers since my cousin, their son, has been battling cancer. They arrive here on Wednesday this week, and will be here for a month. Let the party begin! Aunt Carol is a hippy, unless she is pissed, then you need to stay away from her, as there is not enough cannabis to save us in the state of GA. Uncle Bill will do anything to have a good time. Both of them love to play with all the great nieces and nephews, and have great wit. Aunt Carol is sharp, and Uncle Bill is sensitive. We look forward to our time with them, and hope that maybe we can get up to the cabin one weekend with them. (We don't have a dog sitter, or much money, so I doubt that will happen.) So, assuming they will be at the cabin some weekends, we will be able to get back to Forever Fed on those nights.
Find Forever Fed on Facebook, and when they have upcoming events, they post there and a sign up for where you can serve that night. I was on food, and kids took wiping tables, handing out dessert and paperwork, then took over drying the dishes afterwards. Geoff set up, tore down, and floated around. They encouraged us to stop and eat, and sit with those who came to share a meal with us. It was really neat, and I made the kids eat dinner before we left so that we might not take food from the line. However, once it was explained that we really should stop at some point and share a meal with others, we asked our children to come and try the chicken, rice and beans. It was way better than I thought it would be. (In fact, I tried and sort of like the black beans.) I don't know what exactly they did with the chicken, but it was VERY good. The children were welcomed to go play with the other children, and they chose not to sit for the bible readings in Spanish, as they don't understand it. Fair enough. The family that began Forever Fed was there tonight at our location, and they truly are led by the Spirit. What a blessing it was for us.
Also, I helped radKIDS for an hour in the simulation process. I love the radKIDS family, and feel honored that they allow me to be a part of what they do for our community. If you ever want to know about radKIDS, ask us! We are the most radKID supportive family you will ever meet. Our kids are loyal to the core. Ask them about radKIDS and they might not stop gushing about it.
Super Saturday is over, and we have a Sunday Funday to get on with, so I need to get to sleep and then plan for some rainy day fun. Mass in the morning, dinner guests for my favorite crock pot dish, sweet and sour chicken. Hope our friends will venture out in the rain!