Well, after the family went to sleep tonight, I was observing our elf, "Shout!" Then, I was struck with how much he and I would totally get along. See for yourself.
|"You really asleep? Yea? GREAT! Gotta' go play!"|
|"So, I've called you all here to discuss our benefits package. First, no bonus this year. The union and the tea parties... I mean, really. We can't be having tea parties. Can't afford the tea.|
|This is not funny Elf MAN. Take it off. Now!|
|So, you want reindeer games??? I got your reindeer games right here "Elf boy!"|
|Who's your daddy???|
|I'm telling Santa on you! Uncle!|
|Hey baby... "THAT'S" what a good girl looks like. You? Not so much.|
|Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go.....|
|Mush! Mush! YA!|
|On Comet! On Cupid! On Dasher! On the gay one.! I meant to say "Prancer." Oiy. Sorry. That was so not right.|
|Shout!-Really? Only eight gifts? |
Mom- Yes. And get off that service dog. You are not handicapped.
Shout!- Yes I am.
Mom- No you are not. Mute is not an accepted handicap.
Shout!- I'm paralyzed.
|Shout!- Dude. Dude. I had too much 'nog. And my girl? She just left with another elf. But he looked just like me. Awkward.|
|Nutcracker #2- Dude. Get off my face. I can't see. |
Shout!- Stop bustin' my balls!
Nutcracker #2- I'm not! I'm just a nut cracker! And for F's sake! I can't feel my feet! WHERE. ARE. MY. FEET?!? Holy hell. This can't be good.