Nov 24, 2012

The blog in which I gathered with women. I NEVER do this.

I was so excited to see a neighbor that moved away, but came in town for just slightly more than 24 hours and made time to visit with me.  I have missed her since she and her family left, and was so happy to have the opportunity, even though it was way too short to really catch up.  Well, technically, nothing is happening in my life, therefore, 3 minutes would have been sufficient to do my run down, however, we had talk of penis issues, tasted a cookie, and I even got a tour of another friend's home that I had never been into.  So, it was evident that I don't get out much.

First, when she surprise texted me that she was here and wanted to stop over for a quick "hi," Geoff was in bed in pain, and Charlie was asleep beside him.  Chazman has not be totally feeling right the last couple of days.  He didn't do ANY gymnastics during the daytime today.  (Gasp.)  So, I told her I wish I could have her over, but it just wasn't good timing.  She said that our mutual friend just said to come over to her home, and that was only a few doors away.  First I texted that I would not be getting dressed for the event.  It was almost 5:PM, and was STILL in pj's.  I agreed to a bra, and she said "Come as you are."  Clearly, she didn't understand the ramifications to that statement.  I'm sure she learned her lesson.  However, she has known me for years, and probably was impressed that I even had clothes on at that point.

Our mutual friend has a gorgeous home.  I don't understand how we live in the same tiny homes and hers seems SOOOOO much better planned out than ours does.  I think the builders of our neighborhood were on crack when they created our floor plan.  Some days they were less high (her home), and other days, they were toasted (my home.)  Although, Geoff and I must have been caught in the haze, since we bought THIS one.  That explains the weight gain....

So, after the tour, we sit and start chatting.  I swear I don't know how a room of four woman turns to penis's, but, inevitably, it did.  And somehow, I was confused.  Then, we had an amazing cookie with just a few ingredients.  And can I tell you, there was only ONE wet ingredient in the recipe.  Can you guess?  ONE CUP OF BUTTER!  I just about regurgitated the cookie back up after I learned that little snippit.  I mean, how many cookies did this recipe make?  ONE CUP?  That is insane.  I love butter, but man, I hope that the recipe made 154 cookies!  I mean, one of those cookies was really good, but for the record- she sent home 4 more with me for the kids!  I was so grateful that the kids were both standing at the door when I came home.  I handed the bag to them, prayed that their arteries were ready, and sent them to the table.  I won't share the recipe without doctors' clearance and a copy of the EKG.  They were REALLY good though.

While I don't generally gather with other women, mostly because I like being in pajama's, I was excited to get out of the house, even if for such a short time.  The part that I didn't understand?  Why my husband, mere doors away, called me- TWICE.  No joke.  Once, to inform me of information he felt pertinent to interrupt a penis conversation I was struggling to keep up with.

Ring, ring....

Me- Hello?

Geoff- Hey, Charlie is now asleep in his bed.  I took his temperature.  It's 99.????  (I forget the tenth of the degree, but I know that it was not over 100.4, therefore, I think I zoned out.)

Me-  Okay.  Need me to come home?

Geoff- No.  Just wanted to let you know.

A short time later...

Ring, ring....

Me- Hello?

Geoff-  Hey.  I'm going to feed Shay some microwaved chicken nuggets for dinner.

Me-  Okay.  Need me to come home?

Geoff- No.  Stay as long as you want.

So, that is what happens when I leave the house.  Now I remember why I don't do it- ever.  Apparently,  as a whole, our family only runs well when I am integrated in every decision.  Tell me I have done this to myself and I will throw Legos down in the middle of the night for your to stumble upon.

PS  For the record--- I socialize, but I prefer the one on one version of this "game."  And generally, my friends come to my home, where I can almost always get away with my pajama trick, serve a cup of coffee, and NOT get multiple phone calls informing me of the price of beans.

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