Nov 27, 2012

The blog in which I got a headache from something I didn't buy.

I have a headache.  It's all because of this lady at Walmart.  I know, I know.  I haven't been in a Walmart in weeks, if not longer, but I was close to our local Walmart after my workout last night,  and I wondered if it might be less expensive to purchase the non meat, non veggies, non fruit items on my grocery list.  So, I headed over there, and while searching for cookie cutters, (found a little bag of six plastic ones for $1.47- SCORE!), I stumbled upon this item that the three other ladies were chatting about when I "gathered" the other night.  Remember that blog?  My husband is just now calming down from it.  Anyway, we didn't just talk about penises.  While that might have been fun, the hostess shared her Walmart find of these scented wax things that go into a holder and warm and let off this obnoxious, I mean, pleasant, aroma.  Well, I had heard the name "Scentsy," yet had no idea what it was, and honestly, after learning about it, I don't believe this concept is a new one.  I swear we had something like that back in the 90's.

Well, I stumbled upon an end cap with TONS of "flavors."  I began smelling them.  Then, another chick walks up alongside me, and she begins looking.  I asked her if she knew how much they cost, referring to the refills.  She said she didn't and we began talking it up about these smelly little things.  She and I must have each smelled 10-15 differents odors, again, I meant to say, aromas.  Well, while we knew how much the warming unit was, we had no idea how much the actual refills were, and at this point, I was really interested.  It was not in the budget, but I really wanted to know.  She then told me the cost of the refills for the name brand, so I had an idea of what the knock off might cost, but just because I was out alone, late at night, we decided to go hunt down a scanner, or an employee to find out.  As we were hunting, I commented on how I felt like I didn't probably need the item, seeing as I was getting a headache from it.  She didn't hear it well, and said, "Oh yeah, my husband can't stand it and always turns mine off telling me he has a headache."  Yeah, I can see why.  I went and returned the item as soon as I thought she was gone, and then headed to the over the counter meds for Charlie and his mass produced snottage.

I had a headache, and somehow, while I was in the aisle alone, a little gas bubble popped out.  Yeah, I said it.  I tooted.  Just a cute little bubble.  Didn't even smell.  Well, that was, until this mom and young son duo turn the corner, and the son says ever so loudly, "Mom!  What's that smell?"  For a brief instant, I wondered if I smelled like all those scents and if he was being bothered by it.   Then I realized, my nostrils must be singed from the event, and unable to smell my own stank.  Nice.  I high tailed it out of there, and held in the next bubble that felt eminent.

I learned two valuable lessons last tonight.  1.  Smelly things really do facilitate headaches.  2.  Eating only carrots and canned pineapple prior to a night workout will only cause gas that small children will comment loudly on.  I was trying to not eat a full meal prior to a workout.  Instead, I might have caused emotional scarring for this small boy in a Walmart medicine aisle.  My apologies.

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