Nov 21, 2012

The blog in which I accidentally read an erotic book to my migits.

Everyone knows of my love affair with the media center at the migit's school, right?  I am scheduled for a couple of hours every Monday morning in there.  However, I am in the school doing different things on different days of the week, and always find myself meandering in the direction of the  media center.  On occasion, someone is out, and I jump in to shelve books, check out books while the media specialist is with a class, or just walk around looking at possible books for my own two.  Recently, I found that many children are checking out this series that has been around since the early seventies, yet, is in the young section with low AR values.  That is a good thing since we should only be checking out 1's and 2's at this point, for both of them.  So...  I got it.  The first in the series.  "Nate the Great," written by Marjorie Weinman Sharmat.  Fairly long book, with very little illustration, and great reading material for emergent readers.  Not necessarily masculine exclusive, although, I have a feeling this was written in a porn'esque style.  What?  Not a word?  Pftt.  It is now.  Deal with it.

Why might I bring so much controversy to such a classic, you wonder?  Well, I didn't.  I merely read the book to the migits this evening, and found that it was not very secretive with it's intentions.  Here's the story line-  Nate introduces himself as a detective.  Incidentally, he LOVES pancakes.  I am not sure why there was so much talk of that nugget of information, but it was strategically placed, throughout the erotic, err, uh, I mean, children's book.  He receives a call from a girl.  Annie is her name, and he goes on to describe her in detail; hair color, eye color.  Look, guys don't notice that stuff unless they are hot and heavy.  He EVEN mentions that she smiles a lot. Look.  I am 36 years old, and if there is one thing I know...  Right.  It might be the ONLY thing I know a lot about, but at least I know enough to recognize it, whereas, where have the parents been since the seventies on this one?  I know you all can not still be stoned.  Unless you live in Colorado.  In that case, all the parental units of that state get a freebie here.  But I am not sending you pot-heads anymore Twinkies!  (Well played, Obama.)

So, Nate dutifully writes his mother a note, stating his intentions.  See the evidence below-

Whew.  At least he was safe.  Smut.  It's what we read to our kids. 

And for the record- both of my kids are read to, daily.  We read about 8-10 AR books each week for testing, and the rest is just for fun.  (Upwards of 25 per week are read via many sources.)  We take reading very seriously- unless it's erotic- then we try to explain away some of the nuances.  I just tried to cover it up with , "Oh, honey... Those are "rubbers."  You know.. a type of shoe???"  Sure they are.  Wink, wink.  

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