Sep 22, 2012

The blog in which you should get out of my way before my estrogen injures you.

Disclaimer- This is because I am slightly agitated, and no, at this point, I don't think you want to read this.  Unless, of course, your day is going too well, and you need something to bring you down a notch.  I'm the blogger for you then!

Have you ever made pancakes?  Have  you ever seen a pan look like this after making them?  Personally, I have not.  However, I am not a 39 year old man who has only made pancakes once before in my life.  Apparently, the first lesson I provided didn't take, and therefore, the man who says, "I know," to everything- doesn't.  I know this is the second issue in the kitchen we have had this week, and let me add, this is the second time he has been in the kitchen this week.

Shay was not happy that I was frustrated about the whole pancake issue.  She tells me that Daddy already told her that he isn't good in kitchen.  While I think it is noble of him to share his weaknesses with his child, I think it is more important that he share his strengths with her.  When we find them, she will know.

Soda drinking in the morning seems to be a gift of his.  However, she is not a fan of that, so she shakes her head and asks why he does it.  Usually, it is before he has put his hearing aides in, therefore, he doesn't have to answer to that.  And not putting his hearing aides in, and choosing to frustratingly communicate with us.  And then tell us, "I heard something else" when asked why he responding awkwardly.

So, Charlie refuses to eat the nasty looking pancakes that Geoff has made for him, and then, requests a bagel.  Then, the bagel was put into the toaster, and he says he wants a microwaved one.  At which point, we are supposed to be in the car to begin the first of four events for the day.  At which point, I call our first group of people to say that we are not going to make it for the first part, and will meet them at the second part.  This person I called prefers text, and while text has it's place, it is not for a conversation like this.  Texting is great for a person you don't want to talk to, or if you just need a quick blurb out there, but I am amazingly great at getting to the heart of the matter and then hanging up.

When I woke up at that crazy early hour, I had super dry eyes, and blinked my contact into the shape of a needle apparently, and now,  I have some little tear in my eye, and can't see out of one eye since I took the contact out.  I'm sure that has helped the little headache I have.

Birthday boy is acting like a fool this morning, and I was woken up at 5:30 AM by a man who snores so loudly that I thought a truck was passing.  Then, I decided to go clean the bathrooms.  He then tells me that he thinks that he snores if he has soda at night.  Great.  Keep drinking the soda.  It sounds like a great idea.  At this point I think he should become an alcoholic or something seeing as there is a support group for that, and at this point, he is going to need some people around him who support him.  I gave my last f's about 4 days into the man child's vacation.  While he knows once I start taking pictures of his failures, he is in deep and he will read about it in mere minutes, he also can not for the life of himself figure out how difficult it is to raise two children and him, for his wife.

This is a pan with pancake batter in it.  For the record, the package was a dollar Funfetti type.  Seriously?  It shouldn't look like this.  

He only knows how to make them one of two ways.  Either burnt or undercooked.  You choose.  
If I tell you that today is the day of the month that I have begun allowing a future offspring to commit suicide, would you believe me?   If I see a feminine hygiene product thrown my direction, I will completely understand.  Just be prepared to have them launched back.  At some point, I will see the humor.  Right now, I'm stretched to my autism limits from my husband, and need to deal with a child in the throws of the "It's my birthday weekend and I will wear on your last nerve."

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