Sep 10, 2012

The blog in which I don't enlarge my penis.

No, I don't want to enlarge it.  It seems fine the way it is.  Is there something wrong with it?  I thought size didn't matter?  No one has ever complained about it.  I mean, if it was supposed to be bigger, wouldn't G-d have made it larger?  Oh, wait.  I don't have a penis.  I guess those spammers were confused.

As for the emails that are requesting me to forward those chains of prayers, and if I don't...  I know, I won't inherit all the money that the email world had planned, nor will I enter the kingdom of "email," or  will those with illness be healed because I refuse to open them, or recite them.

As for the Facebook posts that make you go, "Who are you mad as heck with?"  Love those random one liners?  You know you post them to get us to ask you what that was all about?  Yeah, I'm guilty of it on occasion, but not intentionally.  I have sort of learned to filter my thoughts.  It took me a while, however, I am probably the most direct person you will ever meet, and generally, Facebook is not the place that I will address issues.  So, if you want to know if we are reading you, yes, we are, but we don't care for the vagueness.  Nor do we care for the game requests.  I am so glad that you have all the time in the world to bake for a fake bakery, AND raise fish, AND run a farm, however, you should do that alone.  I am too busy making real meals, brushing my Collie, and taking care of my house to play with you.  Let's just leave Facebook to over posting pictures of our families, okay?  (I love seeing pictures, for real.)

As for school fundraisers... wouldn't it be nice if they just said, "Hey parents... we need more money.  Just write the check out to .... and you won't have to pimp your kid out into the neighborhood of families that are hocking the same junk."

As for Sarah and her pet adoption commercials... They were part of the reason I canceled television two years ago.  The other part?  NOBODY NEEDS TELEVISION.  Simple.

As for Chick Fil A- That's a toughie.  Great chicken, though, right?

As for political debating...  I am confused.  I was taught that you keep that private.  That is why there are special voting booths.  Guess that decision is a personal one, until you share it and allow the mud slinging to enter into your friendships.  I am not political, however, I have my beliefs.  They are just that.  Mine.  I am not going to change the world.  Heck, I can't even deter Facebook friends from inviting me to more games I will not play with them.  How am I going to change there viewpoint on stupidity?   Meaning, it's all or nothing.... not racial or religiously motivated.  And that is why I can't agree to disagree with you on this stuff.  Let's just keep the politics out of it.

As for BOGO sales- I can still buy just one, and get it half off.  I'm not that dumb.  (However, my husband will never make the mistake again by purchasing enough Reese's Peanut Butter Cups to feed most of Long Island.)

As for drivers who don't use their turn signal and have a handicap sticker or tag....  Every time I see a person who has a handicapped sticker or tag NOT use a blinker when turning, I automatically think, "They must have gotten that way because they are terrible drivers."

As for people who sit at a desk and greet people entering your place of business-- freakin' smile!  I go to a place a few times a week and see the same sour puss lady at the desk each time I show up.  I have made a hugely obnoxious point to smile so big that you see my pubes and greet her like I freakin' idolize her.  I hope she gets the picture.  When someone else is sitting at her desk- it could even be Hitler's child, that person always appears to be sweeter than syrup compared to the regular.

Wow.  Don't know where that came from.  I feel better.

No comments:

Post a Comment