Shay is still sickly, and woke me at 4:15 AM in need of more medicine. I got her settled with a portable DVD player, stuck a movie in, and headed back to bed. I never made it back to sleep, and by the time I had to wake Charlie, I had showered, and Shay had joined Geoff in bed for a morning cuddle. After my shower, I grabbed the scale. I know, I know. It seems futile, but I still do it. I had a reason this time. More on that in a second.
First, let me tell you about my scale. My mother in law, who I have not spoken to in about two years, (did you just hear the angels singing?) gave us this incredibly fancy scale, along with a Furminator dog brush for Tai, may he rest in peace, for our fourth wedding anniversary. They were the two most ridiculous gifts to give in combination, and I was insulted for years. Now, I realize how miserable a woman she is, and don't think the universe could handle my pouting about it, so I appreciate them for what they do for me. One, they help me lose weight. When I brush enough of my hair out, I lose weight. And how do I know? Because I have this mac daddy scale to tell me. *I have some impressive body hair grow-age in progress. I think that is enough. Thank you lady who gives weird gifts! (She also gave me her son, and I guess I really should stop complaining since he was one of the best gifts I have ever received. Even if he is sometimes damaged and I have to have him fixed on ocassion. At least I never have to change his batteries. And she potty trained him. Thanks for that!)
So, I reach and grab the scale, hop on, and Shay yells over, "What do you weigh?" I was thrown by her curiosity. I threw out a number.
Her- Really. How much?
Her- Come on. How much?
Her-Mom! Tell me what you weigh!
Me- (Changing it up a bit here) 45. (See what I did there? Clever, eh?)
Her- Mom! Tell me the truth!
Me- (Thinking in my head, "You can't handle the truth!") 202!
Her- Mom! Stop! Tell me how much you weigh!
Me- Okay. 71.
Her- Really? Is that really what you weigh?
To which Geoff says, "Now you have something to blog about today."
Me- Yeah, but it was only slightly funny in person, and won't translate well on the blog, and now that I know how much I really weigh, I can't make and enjoy these cheesecake pops I found on Pinterest. My scale won't allow it. And now, neither will my daughter.