Sep 7, 2012

The blog in which I share how I volunteer in the school on Friday's..

Today was Duck for a what???  Well, I am notorious for texting auto corrects that clearly show you how my phone acts like a dirty old man.  So, I was texting with a neighbor and she said something about seeing me at the bus stop in the morning.  I quickly reminded her that I have "Duck for a F@ck" as well as Accelerated Reader testing that I will be doing every Friday morning from now on.  Of course, the typo not caught until AFTER I sent it.  Lovely.   My apologies to the PTA and the ducks on that one.  Duck for a BUCK is a little fundraiser they have set up this year that sells little themed rubber duckies for a dollar, right as the children enter the school on Friday mornings, and closes when school starts.  It was my first attempt at it, and let me tell you, I hope I wasn't fired.  I had a blast!

First, there are no less than about 10 different little containers with individually themed ducks.  There were the mundane to the limited edition.  However, we neglected the politically correct version.  More on that later.  Let me share with you some of the ducks.
I didn't see these flying out the door.  They are little duckies  wearing rain coats and carrying umbrellas.  Ducks like water.  These seemed a little kooky to me.  I see why there isn't a run on them. 
Shay got that one a few weeks ago.  She's a cute little princess duckie.  
These are new.  They are cheerleader ducks.  We sold about 6 of these to staff members even before the buses started arriving!  
Now these were a big deal.  They are glow in the dark duckies, and they are Halloween themed, dressed as pumpkins, mummies, vampires, etc.  They are about half the size of a regular ducky, and some savvy shoppers noticed the difference, and asked if they were half off.  "No, but they glow!  Ohhh, Ahh..."  Fifth grader dropped it back into the container in disgust.  Come on dude.  That's better than the freakin' "Rainy Day Duck!"  And then there was the kid who cried "foul" because it didn't glow.  We had to tell him that they need to be in the light to charge.  Like a an iPod, but not.  
These were the mermaid duckies!  They were a hit too.  They looked like transvestites,  but I didn't want to point that out when they were so popular.  I had other ducks with issues to contend with.
Afro duck, I mean, Crazy Hair Duckie, seems to have a slight lazy eye.  It appears that whole container could use an eye intervention.  And some conditioner. 
Sumo Rubber Duckie.  No joke. They didn't seem to be a big hit either with the kids, but I wanted to offer to let them waddle to the nurse's office to have their outfit checked for regulation-length attire that is in effect.  I don't know that the thong would pass inspection.  I suppose the PTA Facebook page will be lit up like wildfire once the hens get a hold of this one.    
Well, those were some of the duckies.  And while on their own, they could have created a sweet little blog on what our school PTA is doing to raise a little extra money, and let the kids have a great time doing it. But that's not where the "buck" stops.  Oh no.  The children.  We are talking about elementary school aged children.  We are talking about children who live in an affluent area.  We are talking funny people.  

While my children worked their tail feathers off to earn their four quarters this week in order to buy one duck a piece, there were lots of children who came in with a couple of dollars a piece to purchase the duck.  There was also that little girl who had thirty-two cents, and she worked those four coins until finally, 15 minutes later, she had a "share" of a duck.  No joke.  

She proudly told us that her and her friend are going to buy the duck together, and share it.  Sadly, that little girl didn't have the money either, but after some serious digging and counting and recounting, we finally found $1.06!  So, the girl with the thirty-two cents was thrilled knowing that her friend would share the duck with her, one day.  It was really pitiful.  The person overseeing this program was feeling so bad for her that she wanted to help her out.  I am glad we let them work it out.  It's never too early to learn a hard lesson.  Wink.  

Then, there was sombrero duck.  Those were not moving at all.  I think we should discount those come Cinco de Mayo.  

Then, there was the girl who specifically asked if we had any African-American or "Island" ducks.  I swore nobody would believe me on some of this stuff, so I made her repeat it to the girl in charge.  I was having a ball with these kids, and didn't want to be the only one laughing.  Plus, I needed a witness to the funny.  Sadly, we were not politically prepared, until the little girl left her little friend.  Meet,  LGBT BEAR!  (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual and Transgendered Bear)  
"LGBT Bear"

I wanted to hunt down the "Island" seeking girl, just to let her know that while I thought we had the whole political correct/Village People represented, I stood corrected, but wouldn't this bear make a lovely parting gift?  Don't be offended.  My best friend is a bear.  ;o)

PS  The bear's little girl came and tearfully found her, safe in our loving and accepting Duck for a Buck store.   Or, as my auto correct might say, "Bear for a bang."  

PPS  I hope they let me back next week.  I loved it!  


  1. Priceless. Ya can't make this stuff up

    1. Being stuck in a house for four days with a sick migit will create a little crazy. My apologies to the surrounding community. One day I will be allowed out of the house. :)