Mar 13, 2013

Random Obscurities Post #2

Sorry, but I have a sixty day wait period for the transition of the domain main to the new host, and this is the best I can do.  If you see, "Random Obscurities" in the title, it may be offensive.  At least, more offensive than an "Adventure with Ahrens" post.  I will post both here for now, and once the R.O. is up and running, I will transfer that stuff over, and continue on both blogs.  Thanks for you patience.  the following post will give you a small sample of the type of hell I am living with.  Enjoy!  Or, be offended.  Whatever.

Title- Random obscurities I am encountering as I have to pick a password.

I know that you guys are sick of hearing about the drama that has ensued while I have been trying to get this site up and running.  Going into this, I was fully aware of my lack of computer knowledge.  Now, days deep, I am floored how much I was so out of the loop.  Talking to the different host servers, and switching the new domain to yet another new server all in a matter of days has only added to the cluster-F I am creating for myself.  In the mean time, I am pretty sure the neighbors have heard me yelling at my husband, the computer, and the dog.  The dog, because he wants me to throw something for him to retrieve.  I am about to through the computer, and he can decide if it's worth the fun of schlepping that back down the hall to me.  Part of my frustration has been new passwords.
You know, each day, some hermit must sit at his computer all day and decide, "How else can we make Erin's computer frustration raise to a level that would frighten the most hardened of criminals?"  And then, a stroke of genius- password strength.  We will confuse the hell out of her, and then, deny her anything that might be something she might remember at a later date.  Let me share my experience of setting up a new password the other day.
I came to the section where I had to determine a password.  I chose one.  The computer denied it.  I chose another.  And another.  And finally, it told me that my choice was "weak."  That was like a challenge because if someone says anything negative about me, or says I won't or can't do something, I will make it my life's mission to prove them wrong- including, a computer server.  So, I came up with another, very "strong" password that I assumed that would please the server.  I was wrong.  The server did not approve of "thedoghashairyballsandthatsokay."  Apparently, that had "too many characters" to be approved.  Or, it disagreed with the statement.  Either way, I amended it.  I shortened it to "oktohavehairyballs."  Again, denied.  What the heck do you want from me?  Too long, too short, too hairy... 
At this point, the server got a tad bitchy with me.  In bold, red letters, it said, "Password must contain an upper AND lowercase letter, a number, a symbol, the blood of your first hamster you named after the New Kids on the Block, the last two digits to your gym combination lock, your first born childs' birth year, the age you lost your virginity, the number of acid hits you had in the tenth grade, your paternal grandmother's cup size,  the quantity of tampons you have "borrowed" from girlfriends and wonder if by the word "borrowed" means you are to give it back to the when finished, 18 Hebrew letters, and the quantity of live chickens your bus driver's aunt had when someone came and took all the eggs from the chicken coupe and decided to prank egg her own house with in 1986."  Once the server clarified, I struck my own head against the keyboard and mumbled aloud to no one in particular, "Fuck.Me."  
And that is when it happened.  The password came to me, and the moment it accepted it, I felt like I had just run a marathon, and needed a team of people to give me a freakin' medal and a standing ovation.  All I got was this neat-o password that I will never forget.  
And then, within hours, I had to get rid of it.  Why?  Because I left that host.  I was all, "I'm not playing with you anymore, server.  I'm taking my domain and playing with it somewhere else!"  And then, the next site wouldn't take that password.  Why?  Because they don't accept symbols.  True story.  

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