Dec 9, 2012

The blog in which it's the annual PTA "Holiday Shop."

As we walked into the evening, before heading to the trailers to work the "Holiday Shop,"  we snuck up to take a picture with Santa.  Shay said she was not interested, and I totally get it.  Who wants to sit on some rotund, bearded man's lap when she asks her own daddy to shave each day?  For the record- I love his few day facial hair growth.  Mostly because it probably detracts from noticing my own facial hair.  THANKS PCOS!  (I will consider traveling as the bearded lady with the circus as long as they don't use animals in their shows.  I have standards.)  I also have anxiety issues that prohibit me from traveling more than about 30 minutes in any direction, therefore, I don't see a steady income in the near future. 

Um...  I don't know what to say. 

#1 Dad pin  Priced well, but didn't sell many of those.  Sad.  I think we have some fantastic dads at the school.  One day, we saw about 5 dad volunteers in the shop helping the migits shop at one time.  
These little slimy and rubbery rats were a hit.  Not for me, and not when the plastic wrap was off the final 10 or 15 that the kids brought up to purchase. For two dollars, they got way more than a nasty toy. They also got a cashier that vomited a little bit in her mouth when having to shove it into a gift bag. 
Why didn't he ask if I liked this?  I really do like this.  I don't fish.  I don't own any fish.  I don't eat fish.  I just think it's gaudy enough to appreciate it.  I would so make use of this. 
I'm sure I have never asked my children for a bobble head.  I am sure I have never hinted that I might desire one of my own.  And yet, while boxing them up last night, Chaz asks, "You like?"  No, no I do not like.  Not even a little bit.  And while I know he has a fondness for blonde's, that looks nothing like me.  My cape is way bigger than hers.  
What golf enthusiast doesn't want this?  
I wanted this.  I have always wanted something this ridiculous in my home.  I believe that I have minimized my home to the point of needing some extra "homey" touches.  This seems more redneck than gangsta', but he makes me smile, and don't we all need to smile once in a while?  (I know, I know.  It's all I ever want is to smile and laugh, but is that so wrong?) 
This blog post is being really difficult and not allowing me to move this picture.  Work with me.  This is the contents of Charlie's shopping with my "boss."  She wanted to thank me for doing exactly what she was doing, without the stress of being responsible or being chewed out for closing 30 minutes early when there were no shoppers.  Look.  This is why I make a great "worker bee," but really don't need thanks.  We really love to serve those around us.  And by serving in the PTA, we are serving our own children, and no amount of payment will ever suffice.  Thank you "boss-lady" for letting me serve alongside you!  It was a fun week and I can't wait to do it again next year.  

This black wire fake handbag thing with the pink feathers made my brain wrinkle.    Why?

Apparently, I am not the only mom that can not stand this stuff.  One of Chazman's classmates made this purchase, and in doing so, informs me that her mom is not going to be happy with this item for her little brother, however, she can just throw it away and give her brother the other gift she planned for him if that situation arises.  (She knows her mother well.)  I on the other hand, have made it abundantly clear that if a person chooses to partake in playing with Playdoh or any other sticky, slimy, or jelly-like consistency, then I need not be within visual range.  I also can not be present.  Or awake.

I did ask the child to reconsider, and she said that she was good with her choice.  Luckily, I ran into her mother on my way out that day, and she laughed.  (I tried.  Really, I did.)
This was a moment of panic for us.  I quickly got sight of the word "sex" and immediately flustered.  It's not as bad as the pin for twenty five cents that was written in Russian.  I wonder what that pin said.  And I wonder why that kids bought two of them....

Then, there's the origami kid.  That student thought it was appropriate to pay me in three dollar bills that seemed to be folded into some origami shapes.  That I had to unfold.  Then had to try to straighten it in order to stick it in the register.  Those bills were almost as bad as the $17 dollars that were crammed into the money envelope that was handed to me by some fifth grader.  I quickly and sternly explained to him how a real life cashier would hand it back to him and ask him to hand it to them properly.  I had $3.25 handed to me in all change.  With only 2 quarters.  You do the math.  There was one little girl who was ready to shop.  she brought a Santa-style sack, and she bagged TONS of gifts!  There must have been 4 eye masks, two alarm clocks, three wooden fish shaped plates, and a plethora of other assorted gifts that totaled no less than $70.  Child had a small fraction of that to actually spend.  That bag was huge.  Then there's the little girl who showed obvious favoritism to her step-mom.  She bought four plastic roses- one for her mother, and three for her step-mom.   Awkward.

Then comes the returns and exchanges. I am not sure what they thought this was, but no, we didn't desire to take a whistle back that a father disapproved of.  He offered it to us, and I swear, he said, "He only blew on it once."  Uh, no thanks.  You can keep it.  It cost you a whole $2, and you can exchange it for whatever you want.  I can afford to be generous like that.  While I do appreciate the value of money, and understand how annoying a whistle can be,  I don't think he understood that we were not interested in reselling his son's slobber.  There was the mom that was mad about the broken ring the kid bought for $1.25.  I don't know, but honestly, how long did you expect that ring to NOT be broken?

There wasn't much of anything that caught my eye, however, there was  an  item that I thought was actually well priced, and most moms might really appreciate.  It was a tea light lamp set and was only $4.50.  I thought, for a mid-priced item, it was well priced, and not ridiculously gaudy.  Not saying that the other stuff was, (but I am, wink, wink) but there was really nothing that I could have really said, "I wish I had that."  I did point it out, only because I really thought it was a deal.   I told my boss about it, more winking, since we both got paid the same thing, and she put in more hours than most full time employees do in this past week. She ended up wanting it, and when her daughter came to do her shopping for her family, I brought her over to that area, and they were sold out.  We got more in, and she ended up buying one for herself.

She ran the shop from Monday through Friday, and then again last night, when we opened it up for families to come and have pictures with Santa, arts and crafts, as well as shop local vender's and our shop, set up in the trailers.  Not many families chose to make the trek to the trailers,   While we had some down time, she asked both kids to go inside the shop, the adjacent trailer, and to pick out anything they wanted.  I was not happy with that, so I chaperoned them into them into the shop, and steered the to the 25 cent section, and both chose an item. She was not happy with that, and walked straight back in and Charlie followed her.
While closing the shop, and re-boxing all the crap, I mean, lovely gifts that children purchased for their families , my children were begging for a box.  My boss was more than happy to donate some to my children's cause- boats.  My children had worked at sweat shop pace to re-package individual pieces of crap for about 30 minutes, so my thought was, let them play.  So, Shay hopped in, and announced to the room that she was in a boat.  Charlie followed suit, and 30 minutes later, it was time to leave. ;o)   
Notice the Santa hat?  That was a gift from my boss.  Please know- I am using that word, "boss," ever so loosely.  We were both paid the same, but she organized and ran this shop as she would had she been a paid employee.  I promise you, this woman not only received no payment for the work she did, but if her husband knew how much money she spent to set up, or to help countless children who were short a few bucks, or WITHOUT money at all, she might be sent to look for a real paying job.   She gave so generously, in true hopes that the spirit of the giving might remain with the children.  My children saw the hats as we were leaving, and asked for it.  She said she had bought a  bunch of those to decorate with, and that yes, they could each have one.  My kids wore it all morning!  Notice Charlie is at our kitchen table with something in his hand?  It is bubble wrap that came from a gift that my "boss" helped him pick out for Daddy or Mommy last night.

It was like Christmas morning yesterday when we woke up.  I had a horrific migraine by the time I went to sleep after the final night of "Holiday Shop," and it was late, so Geoff got them to bed, with promises that we would look through all the wrapped gifts in the morning.  The kids helped us open all the gifts that my boss helped him pick out for us, and then they played with their gifts.  Most notably, the box that we brought it all home in.  Thanks "Boss-Lady-Friend!"
Happy Chanukkah, Merry Christmas, and for everyone in between, may you enjoy the season and the reason that you celebrate!

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