This is for real peeps. It is for real crazy. However, it made my day, and I thought I'd share some of what my brain had to say about it. So, I will copy and paste the article here, and then somehow, figure out a way to allow my sub conscience share its' thoughts. (I figured it out. I will use bold red.)
Spoiler alert- there are graphic pictures. Hot pokers hot pokers!
Dinosaur Sex Experts Concur That Animals Mated Front To Back (SLIDESHOW)
Posted: 07/11/2012 7:59 am Updated: 07/11/2012 3:37 pm
Ever think about dinosaur sex? Since you are asking, no. Not really. Paleontologists do. And they've come up with some surprisingly specific ideas about how the prehistoric beasts were able to mate despite their enormous size and weight--and despite the horns and other bony appendages that might have proven bothersome when the creatures got hot and bothered. Eeww!
The males and females of modern-day birds and reptiles have a single body opening for urination, defecation, and reproduction--something called a cloaca (Latin for sewer). Hold the phone. Why would they name it the word for a sewer? Are they familiar with the term "sewer." As in,
The males and females of modern-day birds and reptiles have a single body opening for urination, defecation, and reproduction--something called a cloaca (Latin for sewer). Hold the phone. Why would they name it the word for a sewer? Are they familiar with the term "sewer." As in,
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No penis is needed to perform a "cloacal kiss." It sounds so sweet, right? But not. As it all happens around a conduit for waste. That sounds so unsanitary. No wonder they didn't make it to live in the present times. The Dino GYN was all "You know that is not an entrance, but you kids...." But some birds have penises REALLY? SINCE WHEN? AND WHICH ONES? AND WHY DOES THIS FREAK ME OUT SO MUCH? and crocodiles sport (Sport as in a verb? Who the hell is writing this? Certainly not one of the dinosaur sexperts) penis-like "intromittent organs," and male dinosaurs might have had something similar. As you might imagine, a dinosaur penis might have been pretty big--perhaps up to 12 feet in length for T. Rexes. I got nothin.' Well, I mean, I got Geoff, but that's not what I was saying there. Nevermind. Read on.
But how did Mr. Dino ever get his cloaca near Ms. Dino's? By mounting her from behind. At least that's the view of many paleontologists, including one Beverly Halstead, an Englishman His name is Beverly? That's sorta f'ed up. I feel bad for him. No wonder he went on to become a dino-sexpert. Not much more you can do with your life at that point. who became known for his candid talk about dinosaur mating before his death in 1991. For an article that appeared in the now-defunct no surprise here science magazine "Omni" magazine in 1988, Dr. Halstead said:
All dinosaurs used the same basic position to mate. Mounting from the rear, he put his forelimbs on her shoulders, lifting one hind limb across her back and twisting his tail under hers to align the cloaca. So, technically, dinosaurs were doing "Doggy-Style prior to the invent of dogs?" So, again, taking this a step further, are we all technically doing this "Dino-style?" And by "we all" I clearly mean the few that are still doing it at all and doing "it" with some sort of style. I lack style. But then again, I don't have 12 ft. coming at me either. I'd probably want some sort of style if that were the case. Much thought should be put into that process I suppose. I'm only 5 ft. tall. Need I say more?
Some of Halstead's present-day counterparts concur (Concur= fancy way of saying that more than this one "expert" has spent more than a few minutes contemplating this topic. That disturbs me. We don't know how to cure cancer, what causes autism, or why children are abused and neglected, but there are people in this world wasting time of a topic that bares no relevance to the furthering of human kind) that that's the way dinos did it.
"I don't think there's much doubt about that," Dr. Gregory M. Erickson, an evolutionary biologist at Florida State University, told The Huffington Post in a telephone interview. But, he acknowledged, "It must have been a hell of a thing to see." Grateful for that little quote. What a juicy nugget of thought. Thanks for sharing that with us Dr. Erickson. Your parents must be so proud.
See dinosaur sex in the flesh? Dream on. But you can find images of dinos doing the deed on many webpages, including this one. And the same magazine article that quoted Dr. Halstead featured eye-popping depictions of dinosaur sex (see slideshow below) by Ron Embleton, an English artist who died in 1988. Yet another set of proud parents. Overheard at a dinner party somewhere in the UK "So, your son is an artist. What sort of work does he do?" Depictions of dinosaurs screwing the arse off each other."
See dinosaur sex in the flesh? Dream on. But you can find images of dinos doing the deed on many webpages, including this one. And the same magazine article that quoted Dr. Halstead featured eye-popping depictions of dinosaur sex (see slideshow below) by Ron Embleton, an English artist who died in 1988. Yet another set of proud parents. Overheard at a dinner party somewhere in the UK "So, your son is an artist. What sort of work does he do?" Depictions of dinosaurs screwing the arse off each other."
Are the images dinosaur science--or dinosaur porn? Have a look and let us know in the comments what you think. They made me blush, and then wonder how many of you are going to watch the video.. I know you will Mom, as you will try to turn dino-shagging into an educational lesson. I know you. Let me know how they were, okay?
ALSO ON HUFFPOST:
